A long time ago, I used to be someone.
I had a life.
I had a family.
I had…a real name.
Now, I was nothing but a nameless vessel that was broken. Broken and smashed into pieces only to be remade into a servant of the Goblin Queen. She’d taken everything from me, ripped it away little by little. Now the world around me is nothing but a giant blur, and memories of my existence have been wiped clean from almost everyone who knew me.
I am forgotten.
To make matters worse, the longer I stay in this realm, the more I lose myself. And that, more than anything scares the hell out of me. Because there’s something I need to hold onto, something I need to keep fighting for. Whomever I was in the past no longer matters. My thoughts are filled only with destroying the witch queen, and I will. I swore it on my immortal life. But of course nothing, is ever that simple.
If you asked about my ideal way to start a day, it certainly wouldn’t be watching my best friend thrash everything in his bedroom in a blind rage. Yet, there I was, silently counting each drop of blood that dripped from Siege’s ravaged knuckles. I took a deep breath and stepped further into the room of one of the last people who mattered to me. Pieces of broken mirror that had hung above the fireplace, littered the expensive wool carpet. The silk curtains that once hung from stainless steel rods, were now ruined and shredded into scraps. His favorite armchair with the sophisticated matching ottoman? Torn in two as if it were made of match sticks and cheap glue. Basically his whole room had been destroyed, and the person responsible could hardly be chastised.
I watched the King of Goblins, waiting for the right time to speak. If I attempted to calm Siege’s anger too early, I’d likely have to sit through another tantrum, and quite frankly I didn’t have the time or the energy. We had an appointment this morning with someone that neither of us could afford to offend, and we were going to be late if we didn’t leave soon. But still I waited and allowed the silence to speak instead while the king gathered his composure.
Siege: “I don’t have anger issues.”
Blink: “I didn’t say a word.”
Siege: “You didn’t have to. That stupid smirk on your face says it all.”
He bent to snatch up a piece of torn silk from the floor. He hastily tied the fabric around his wounded hands. If he was in pain, it didn’t show.
Siege: “Why are you even here? I told you, I’m not going.”
Blink: “If you don’t go, the witch will bring you by force. Do you really wanna go through that today?”
Siege: “I don’t care! I hate her!”
The room shook from the force of his anger, and I watched the remaining bits of mirror rattle in the frame before falling to the floor with the rest of it’s shattered peers.
Sometimes I wondered if Siege really meant those words for me. I was, after all, the reason for my friend’s ill-fated relationship to the queen.
My heart seized in my chest. I clenched my teeth until the pain subsided. Times like these, when the weight of guilt became to heavy, I did the only thing I could. I apologized.
Blink: “I’m sorry, Siege. For everything.”
Siege: “Don’t start with that, Blink. I’m already pissed off. You’re not responsible for this shit. You hear me? This is not your fault. None of it.”
I heard what he said. Loud and clear. Still, that didn’t make his words true. Because of me, both of our lives are forfeit to the witch queen. Because of me, we’re stuck in an endless battle for our own freedom, and as long as I can see the awful truth in Siege’s eyes, I’ll never stop trying to right my wrongs. Never.